Dating Is Not Made To Order - May 13, 2017

Searching for a mate would be nice if all you had to do was type in tall, dark, rich, handsome, funny, easy going, family oriented, strong, assertive, talented, yadda, yadda, yadda. Click send and the following men pop up under your choices to pick from: Matthew McConaughey, Keith Urban, Morris Chesnut, Jesse William, Justin Trudeau. “Yah, likely not going to happen…ever.

 Hmm…. Do you see the problem? These people are either married or unavailable, making this an unrealistic expectation!

Ok, let us consider a more realistic view. Why do we always want what we cannot have, (i.e. someone’s husband, wife, boyfriend, or partner?) As painful, as it is to say, you get what you give. Explain, how in the hell do you expect to meet people like the ones you dream about if you are not first being honest with yourself?

Understand everyone is attainable by some means because we are all, as John Legend sings… “Ordinary People.”

Ordinary with different features and quirks that make us unique. Your hair may be longer, or may be the next Sports Illustrated swimsuit model; I may have short hair, a belly and wear a size 20. External we’re different even if you’re an identical twin. Internally, our human desire is to be loved. This is a universal commonality making every single one of us no matter the language spoken, color of our skin, body type, level of education, or degree of wealth, we all share this need. That love may be having family accept their sexuality, being loved based on your true self not the persona created to get a date, but the one created to keep a mate.  

In order to achieve this simple yet complex feat you must learn how to accept and fall in love with yourself.

Women… love your hair, eyes, ears, nose, lips, teeth, chin and skin. Small, large, saggy, lopsided, stretch marked breast, back fat, love handles, flat ass, cellulite thighs, big feet, hammer toes, river bed heels – you know who you are. Non-porn Vaja-ja, and hemorrhoids.

This ugliness that you acknowledge is beautifully stunning through the eyes of another who will never understand how the most beautiful guy or girl in their mind is so hard on the person they love.

Let’s face it people we live in a world were these issues can be changed through a little effort like exercise or a good diet plan and if that’s not enough money/skilled plastic surgeon will fix the rest. And yes, you can even have the Vaja-ja look porn start perfect. That one’s not for me, but I’m working on fixing the “girls!” Before I get haters saying, I oppose plastics - save your comments. I am all about fixing, tucking, and/or expanding. God gave doctors the knowhow, so in my book that means if you can pay – why not?

In order to achieve this simple yet complex feat you must learn how to accept and fall in love with yourself.

Men: Love your thinning hair, bald egg-shaped head, eyes, ears, nose, lips, teeth, chin, smile, grin, taco meat chest hair, man boobs, beer belly, grizzly bear hairy back, small penis, big droopy balls, chicken legs, stinky feet. And yes, you can even get a penile implant to elongate the Johnson.

We are masters at beguilement, so much that we fool ourselves. What a frivolous society we have become. Back to the point- this is not done to body shame but to show how easy we – you – me - fixate on external features; thinking if this was bigger, smoother, thicker, longer, well you get the idea; right? It would be easier to get the person we daydream about IF only.

Keith Urban, Morris Chestnut, Ruby Rose are my star crushes, this is ok because the stalker, insane, crazy fan, that’s going to live happily ever after with one of them is not a reality.

Can I search online for Morris or Keith’s features - sure.

Can my girl crush have boyish Ruby Rose’s features - sure.

Online we can be whoever we want to be. Inputting a little bit of this, a little bit of that, mixing in the desired personality traits we think are attractive and hit enter. We do the same when we search for our ideal match. This is when we fall into the trap of searching for your Keith, Morris or Ruby. When the computer spits out our request it is often a watered down spliced version of the person fantasized about. When we put these expectations on another, we often overlook the unexpected. Remember; be honest with yourself and others.

What have your online dating experiences been like? Use the comment section below.

Quick Tip ~ Don’t miss an opportunity that’s in front of you!



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