Add A Little Spice

There comes a point in all relationships that we decide we want to add a little spice to kick things up a notch.

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When you are first falling in love you get the sensation of “butterflies” in the stomach – which if you think about that one – who on earth would want butterflies flying around in their stomach?!

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Is This Your Future?

This is likely the reason online dating has been sweeping the globe. What used to be taboo and unheard of is now the new norm.

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If we say we want it to be different this time, we want to find Mr. or Mrs. Right this does not mean you should settle for Mr. X instead of taking Mr. Z it just means not to overlook Mr. Y because he falls in the middle.

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Webs of Entanglement

The experience is in your body, in your mind, and maybe even in your dreams. Could this be a metaphor of how a person feels after being fucked over by someone they thought cared?         

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Passing The Buck

This is the hardest question to answer sometimes and one the most uncomfortable parts of a first date or even second date. No one ever wants to say, “Can I get the check, please?”

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What Is Love?

“A Night at the Roxbury” was one of the funniest movies ever thanks to actors Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan. The classic, iconic scene of the brothers’ voguing and bopping their heads in rhythmic fashion at the bar when this song starts playing was one of many favorite scene’s. Talk about confidence! These characters BELIEVED they oozed coolness or at least thought ….”Damn we look cool!” LOL….LOVED IT!...Imagine how cool we could be if we just threw caution to the wind and didn’t care what anybody thought about us, including but not limited to how we dance, how we look, how we speak, or how we dress. The message here is simple: be whoever the FUCK (Free Uninhibited Cool Kid©Dear238) you are…. And love every head bopping, off beat second of it! 

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Dating Is Not Made To Order - May 13, 2017

Searching for a mate would be nice if all you had to do was type in tall, dark, rich, handsome, funny, easy going, family oriented, strong, assertive, talented, yadda, yadda, yadda. Click send and the following men pop up under your choices to pick from: Matthew McConaughey, Keith Urban, Morris Chesnut, Jesse William, Justin Trudeau. “Yah, likely not going to happen…ever.

 Hmm…. Do you see the problem? These people are either married or unavailable, making this an unrealistic expectation!

Ok, let us consider a more realistic view. Why do we always want what we cannot have, (i.e. someone’s husband, wife, boyfriend, or partner?) As painful, as it is to say, you get what you give. Explain, how in the hell do you expect to meet people like the ones you dream about if you are not first being honest with yourself?

Understand everyone is attainable by some means because we are all, as John Legend sings… “Ordinary People.”

Ordinary with different features and quirks that make us unique. Your hair may be longer, or may be the next Sports Illustrated swimsuit model; I may have short hair, a belly and wear a size 20. External we’re different even if you’re an identical twin. Internally, our human desire is to be loved. This is a universal commonality making every single one of us no matter the language spoken, color of our skin, body type, level of education, or degree of wealth, we all share this need. That love may be having family accept their sexuality, being loved based on your true self not the persona created to get a date, but the one created to keep a mate.  

In order to achieve this simple yet complex feat you must learn how to accept and fall in love with yourself.

Women… love your hair, eyes, ears, nose, lips, teeth, chin and skin. Small, large, saggy, lopsided, stretch marked breast, back fat, love handles, flat ass, cellulite thighs, big feet, hammer toes, river bed heels – you know who you are. Non-porn Vaja-ja, and hemorrhoids.

This ugliness that you acknowledge is beautifully stunning through the eyes of another who will never understand how the most beautiful guy or girl in their mind is so hard on the person they love.

Let’s face it people we live in a world were these issues can be changed through a little effort like exercise or a good diet plan and if that’s not enough money/skilled plastic surgeon will fix the rest. And yes, you can even have the Vaja-ja look porn start perfect. That one’s not for me, but I’m working on fixing the “girls!” Before I get haters saying, I oppose plastics - save your comments. I am all about fixing, tucking, and/or expanding. God gave doctors the knowhow, so in my book that means if you can pay – why not?

In order to achieve this simple yet complex feat you must learn how to accept and fall in love with yourself.

Men: Love your thinning hair, bald egg-shaped head, eyes, ears, nose, lips, teeth, chin, smile, grin, taco meat chest hair, man boobs, beer belly, grizzly bear hairy back, small penis, big droopy balls, chicken legs, stinky feet. And yes, you can even get a penile implant to elongate the Johnson.

We are masters at beguilement, so much that we fool ourselves. What a frivolous society we have become. Back to the point- this is not done to body shame but to show how easy we – you – me - fixate on external features; thinking if this was bigger, smoother, thicker, longer, well you get the idea; right? It would be easier to get the person we daydream about IF only.

Keith Urban, Morris Chestnut, Ruby Rose are my star crushes, this is ok because the stalker, insane, crazy fan, that’s going to live happily ever after with one of them is not a reality.

Can I search online for Morris or Keith’s features - sure.

Can my girl crush have boyish Ruby Rose’s features - sure.

Online we can be whoever we want to be. Inputting a little bit of this, a little bit of that, mixing in the desired personality traits we think are attractive and hit enter. We do the same when we search for our ideal match. This is when we fall into the trap of searching for your Keith, Morris or Ruby. When the computer spits out our request it is often a watered down spliced version of the person fantasized about. When we put these expectations on another, we often overlook the unexpected. Remember; be honest with yourself and others.

What have your online dating experiences been like? Use the comment section below.

Quick Tip ~ Don’t miss an opportunity that’s in front of you!



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