Add A Little Spice

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There comes a point in all relationships that we decide we want to add a little spice to kick things up a notch. Maybe you started your relationship that way and never stopped adding the spice. Keeping your relationship fresh and exciting is a great way to keep that fire between the two of you burning strong.

So, what do you do to add some of that needed spice into your relationship? It could be something simple or something more risqué. I give my love a music CD for every anniversary (day we first met online and wedding) and every Christmas. I believe Dick Clark was so on point when he said, “Music is the soundtrack of your life.” I also leave little love notes on the anniversary of the day we initially met online, the day of our first phone call and the day we first met in person. I personally don’t get risqué but for those of you who do – congratulations on the courage to do so!

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For those of you who have or are thinking of venturing into the risqué realm, you could use handcuffs, blindfolds, tie each other up, there are many things to choose from in this category. Make sure to have a safe word so things don’t go too far! Perhaps you want to role play; Doctor/Nurse, Client/Call Girl, Dominant/Submissive, maybe you have a fire that needs to be put out by the Fireman next door. Do a striptease, masturbate for your partner, use toys, or watch porn together. Sex, like everything else, is difficult to get back into once you stop. Once you let the “dry spell” take hold in the relationship, it’s so easy to let that take over, and it becomes the norm for the relationship. Sex is not the most important part of a relationship, but it is important for a healthy relationship, the intimacy that you share with your partner during the act is significant.

So, how much sex is enough sex? According to a study once a week is the perfect amount for a couple to be happy together. You can read the study here: Lead author Amy Muise, a social psychologist and postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto-Mississauga said if sex is less often, then happiness declines.

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You don’t have to go for the risqué route to keep the flame burning. As I mentioned, I give CDs with music that lets my love know how I feel. Music always says it much better than I can. You can leave brief love notes for your love interest. Leave a note on their steering wheel or inside their lunch container/bag or “box” – if people still carry those; either way it’s a nice surprise to let them know you are thinking of them. Send a sweet (or sexy) text message, which will be sure to brighten their day.  Make your lover a home-cooked meal and spruce it up with making a candlelit dinner. Give each other a massage, bring her flowers, make a photo album or calendar of your last vacation or just of your time together. Really surprise them and go on a romantic weekend getaway!

What have you done to spice up your relationship? Post comments below.

Dear238 Quick Tip: We all communicate differently and what may excite you may not excite your partner. One may require verbal affirmations the other may need to see this applied by actions instead of words. Dr. Gary Chapman’s book helps us to understand our partners “love language.” I recommend you and your significant other take this free quiz to find out your respective love language. This could help spice things up and once you start to apply the knowledge gained it may even rekindle a relationship headed for burnout.