Online Dating Lies
We judge people so quickly based on how they look, speak, or dress. Assuming all extroverts live fearlessly while surfing through crowds when secretly they may be shaking like a nervous Chihuahua inside. On the other hand, a person who is quiet and rarely interacts with others might be misconstrued as shy, snobbish, or weird. We never know what someone is thinking or feeling so give a person a break before judging.
There are many reasons we try online dating, but I think the anonymity of it is a big draw for many. For those of us that may be shy or unsure of our “game” it’s easier to “talk” to people online. We become whomever we wish. The thing is, we need to remember that we are trying to make real connections with real people, and this cannot be done if we’re not being honest with the person on the other end of the computer screen. Yes, we may be more vocal, use wording that we don’t typically use and that’s okay. However, DON’T lie about your looks by using a (fake picture), age (reporting you are 10-20 years younger), weight or anything else.
This blog has discussed the importance of taking things slow and getting to know one another through a series of questions. Our book Online Dating: 238 Questions - Getting to Know Someone (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06X94C5T4) may help you with this. For those of us who feel more comfortable behind a computer screen this is easier but be truthful. How do you expect a relationship to work if it begins with lies? I watch the MTV show Catfish every week. Rarely are the people genuinely who they say they are. Their feelings may have been meant with good intentions, but they lied about who they were. One episode, in particular, that comes to mind involves a couple that dated for three years yet never met. He ended up being a rich man, living in a huge house with fancy cars. Side note – the guy was a complete asshole! My point is, if I’m talking to you, sharing my thoughts and feeling, getting close to you, and I find out you’ve been lying to me the entire time… I don’t care if you have money, fancy cars, a mansion and look like a model … I don’t care if your feelings were true… the bottom line is - you lied, and I’m done. I love this show but do not understand why people can’t grasp this concept!
Are you honest on these dating sites?
Dear238 Quick Tip: It is hard to put yourself out there but even harder to start a relationship based on lies.