What Is Love?

“What is love? Baby don’t hurt me.” Remember that song by Haddaway? It was an early 90’s song so you may have to Google it. I encourage you to listen to it then read the lyrics before reading this post. This is not an endorsement just a mere request to take a nostalgic walk down memory lane or experience this song for the first time, so it may help to make more sense.

Okay, did you check it out? Depending on your age, either you laughed hysterically or your head started bopping while it took you back in time.

Whether you viewed the original video or watched clips from “A Night at the Roxbury” this song introduced me to car karaoke. I remember listening to this song while driving along winding country roads on a late summer’s day. With the windows rolled down, radio turned up, left arm gliding and hand high-fiving the wind all while singing aloud; thinking “I sound great!”…until the song stopped.

“A Night at the Roxbury” was one of the funniest movies ever thanks to actors Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan. The classic, iconic scene of the brothers’ voguing and bopping their heads in rhythmic fashion at the bar when this song starts playing was one of many favorite scene’s. Talk about confidence! These characters BELIEVED they oozed coolness or at least thought ….”Damn we look cool!” LOL….LOVED IT!...Imagine how cool we could be if we just threw caution to the wind and didn’t care what anybody thought about us, including but not limited to how we dance, how we look, how we speak, or how we dress. The message here is simple: be whoever the FUCK (Free Uninhibited Cool Kid©Dear238) you are…. And love every head bopping, off beat second of it! 

It’s clear that none of us want to be hurt during a relationship. Reviewing the lyrics of “What is Love,” I’m sure most of us can relate to having these same feelings. This should come as no surprise, part of growing and learning how to love often entails being hurt by someone we love. Yes, it’s sad, it’s unfortunate, blah, blah, blah, however one chooses to label it, but it seems like we go through breakups to learn how to be better lovers. I think those are the moments when we actually learn what we are doing wrong or how about...What I allowed a person to do and why I tolerated it. Like many, I’ve asked myself, this question with most failed relationships. Many times we are so afraid of being hurt that we don’t allow ourselves an opportunity to get too close, building walls around our heart.

Well, if you’re serious about finding someone special it’s time to let go of this way of thinking. I’m not saying to throw caution to the wind and give your heart to the first person that makes you smile. That would be really bad advice. However, we are creatures of habit. Meaning, everyone has a “type” of physical/emotional attraction they go for.

The old cliché of: The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If only I had a dollar for every time I told myself; this time it’ll be different when I was dating, I’d probably have 20 bucks right now. 

All jokes aside, if looking for a stable committed relationship answer the following questions truthfully:

  • What does being in love mean to you?
  • What are your expectations and are you able to provide this to a mate?
  • Could this be one reason for falling into the same rut in relationships?

Is there a pattern or problem? If so, what can you do differently the next time? Comment below.

Dear238 Quick Tip: Don’t expect perfection or seek someone to make you happy. This way of thinking places false hope in relationships, making it nearly impossible to achieve long term success for most after the sex-escapades dwindle. ©Dear238.com